Tiger Woods, part III

Yes!! Even more is coming out about Tiger! It seems as though someone with knowledge of the investigation, former Canadians' and Bruins' coach Pat Burns, has said that a friend of his has been working on the investigation. According to Burns, there is a very good reason Tiger hasn't been seen in public lately.

According to Burns, Tiger was out playing cards the night of the "accident." When he returned home, he sat down to watch television. She confronted Tiger about some text messages. His answers didn't quite float with what she had in mind. Subsequently, she took a nine iron to his grill and smashed his face pretty good. She then chased him out of the house, he jumps in the Escalade, and smashes into a tree and fire hydrant. She wasn't trying to save him, she was trying to kill him.

Having more money than God, Tiger immediately flew to Arizona for reconstructive surgery on his face. Hence, no public Tiger sightings since the "event."

But the best part, when asked what Tiger gave her for Christmas, she responded, "$300 million." You can't make this up. No witty commentary needed.