Rae "The Truth" Carruth

Career stats:  Receptions: 62

Yards: 804

Touchdowns: 4

Convictions of Conspiracy to commit 1st degree murder: 1

Convictions of shooting into an occupied vehicle: 1

Convictions of using an instrument to destroy an unborn child: 1

Rae, Rae, Rae, Rae, Rae.  What were you thinking?  As Keyshawn would say, "C'mon, man!"  Why didn't you call the Godfather?  If anyone knows how to knock of  a woman, it's OJ.  He could have set you straight, given you a strategy and made sure that you him could scour the golf courses of North America looking for the real killer!  But, nooooo....you had to do it your way!  You had to stop your car in front of hers and have your boys try to off her.  You better find some better marksmen next time.  Your thugs didn't take the time make sure she was dead and she survived another two weeks.  She ID'd you on the phone to the cops and you got your under-performing ass throw in jail.  Not only were you a waste of a 1st round draft pick, you can't even pick the right guys to do the job.  More importantly, why didn't you have someone else drive in front of her?  Rule number 1 of offing your around-the-way-girl:  NEVER BE SEEN AT THE SCENE OF THE CRIME!!!!

Now you're locked up until at least 2018.  From what I hear, woman-killers and child abusers/killers don't have many friends in the joint.  Don't drop the soap, handsome.

Here's some advice:  First, don't cheat on your wife to begin with.  Second, if you do, wear a rubber.  If you didn't knock her up, you wouldn't be where you are now.  Rae, yours is not a result of keeping it real.  Its a result of being a horse's ass (apologies to horses' asses everywhere).